Cultural+Loss

//"We all have a romantic image of our old country. But, things change and we change. When I came here, all of a sudden, I had to play all these roles. I had to be the father, uncle, grandfather, provider, husband, employee... because there was no one else to be all that, it was just my wife, child and I. No help, no support from family and friends. That is a lot for one person to bear. Heavy burden." S., 55 yo male, immigrant from Bosnia //

The concept of acculturation often times connotes possibility, prosperity and material, cultural and language acquisition. The covert aspect of this paradigm, however, are feelings of nostalgia, inadequacy, depression and loss following a departure from the native culture.

Frequently used interchangeably, assimilation and acculturation refer to two different phenomena; assimilation refers to the process of rejecting one's own culture in order to adopt that of another culture while acculturation refers to the process in which characteristics of one group are changed due to the interaction with the majority group (Banks, 1999).

These concepts are two of the multitude of aspects on a multidimensional scale of cultural adjustment. Berry (1998) offers a framework of other possible stances an immigrant can take:

- Integration (high identification with both cultures); - Separation (identification with ethnic culture) and - Marginalization (low identification with both).



[|Image source]

On the most basic level, acculturation is a deeply individual, psychological process. According to Martinez (2005), experience of acculturation can be either positive or negative based on how the individual perceives the two cultures, that is, whether the two cultures are seen as compatible or oppositional. In her research, Martinez has found, using the Bicultural Integration Identity Scale (BII-S), that those scoring higher on the scale perceive the two cultures as integrative while those scoring lower, perceive the two cultures as oppositional and conflicting.

Acculturation antecedents
Tricket (2005) notes that language, cultural identity and cultural behavior are used as important acculturation antecedents. His scale, The Language, Identity, and Behavioral Acculturation (LIB) Scale focuses on those three domains of acculturation. Successful use of existing language knowledge or successful acquisition of the new language eases the transition into the new cultural identity. Once identified with the culture, the person then starts engaging in behaviors that are associated with one or both cultures.

A less obvious aspect is acculturation stress that Paukert et. al. (2006) define as "stress due to discrimination, prejudice, immigration, and acculturation." In families with children this stress might be exacerbated by the intergenerational gap of cultural acquisition in which children and adolescents acculturate faster than their parents.

With this in mind, this project will focus on an inference that those who leave their native country and perceive the newfound culture as conflicting with their values, norms and more, will be more likely to experience feelings of loss and grief.

Population
Immigrants

Primary losses
Leaving the country of origin and moving to a different country or loss of primary cultural identity

Secondary losses

 * Loss of cultural identity (language, customs)
 * Loss of family/friends left behind
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Loss of life as they knew it

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">This rubric was what I had in mind when I set out to interview my friends, S. and A., immigrants from Bosnia. This October marks 15 years of their residency in the United States. Previously, they escaped the war in Bosnia and settled in Germany as refugees. S., 55 yo male, is employed as a mechanic and A., 52 yo female, works as a dental assistant. They have a 17 year old daughter.
 * || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Stressor** || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Process** ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Grief oriented** || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Nostalgia
 * 1) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Depression
 * 2) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Hopelessness || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Refusal to acculturate or learn/use the language
 * 3) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Feeling and becoming isolated
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Contemplating going back home ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Life oriented** || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Acquisition of new language
 * 1) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Settling into a new home, school, job, regulating the status (applying for SSN, driver's license…) and familiarizing with norms, rules, administration of the new country
 * 2) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Meeting new people or finding friends || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Using the language or teaching it to children and seeking help from those fluent in the new language
 * 3) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Finding countrymen to help navigate the system
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Seek church, social club ||

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">I presented the stressor/process rubric to S. and A. Discussing the secondary losses, they both agreed that identity loss was the most prominent of all losses. S. identified himself as an "emotional refugee," someone who has two homes, two bases but is emotionally torn between the two. In this sense, an immigrant does not have a permanent home. A. shared that she realized this when she attempted to renew her native passport, a passport which had Yugoslavia on it. The country has fallen apart at this point and the officer issuing the passport informed her that the country name is nowhere to be found. "My heart sank," A. added, "I had a new country and I didn't even know it." The new passport reads "Republic of Bosnia and Herzegovina."

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">I was interested in finding out whether these stressors and processes used to address them differ between a male and a female immigrant. Basing my assumption on what I know to be a cultural norm in our country of origin (male - strong, hardworking, emotionally distant, able to deal with problems/females - emotional, sensitive, nostalgic), I proceeded to inquire. Here are the answers as they provided them to me:

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">We discussed the bilingual nature of parenting as all three of us have had to deal with it. Opportunities to speak in native language are scarce and over time, "I became one of those people whom I always made fun of, immigrants who forget their language," S. said. "I speak Bosnian and she replies in English. And it doesn't matter, we are used to it," A. added.
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">S. **
 * || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Stressor** || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Process** ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Grief oriented** || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Nostalgia || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Time passing helps. Life goes on. I tried to stay busy." ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Life oriented** || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Important dates
 * 1) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Learning the language
 * 2) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Finding a job
 * 3) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Losing cultural identity through your kids." || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"We are alone all year long, we have no family here. But, when this time comes, it is especially difficult. We usually go away for a day or two."
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I knew a bit of English when I came, but I had to take classes at the local technical college. It is very difficult to look stupid because you don't speak the language. It doesn't matter that I can speak 4 languages fluently, I didn't know English."
 * 5) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I never wanted for this country to support me, that is not who I am. I took any job I could find. I couldn't expect to be what I used to be, I had a family to feed." (S. holds a master's in engineering)
 * 6) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"It saddens me to think that my grandchildren might not know where her grandparents came from. Our daughter's primary language is English although she speaks and understand Bosnian. But, she is an American and I can't expect her to have the bond to her parents' country. It is still sad." ||

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">*How "normal" acculturation becomes can be seen in the picture bellow. It is a snapshot of a text message exchange between my daughter and I; my messages are in blue and in Serbian. We call this Serblish - Serbian + English.



<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Speaking with A. was emotionally charged and quite difficult for me. I know A. as a sensitive soul, the type of person who tears up easily. Her eyes are sad, her soul resides in them. We made a break before discussing grief oriented stressors further. A. was crying and S. was sitting next to her, his arm around her. It was a poignant moment. We sat in silence, in a an unspoken understanding of sadness, displacement, and confusion.


 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">A. **


 * || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Stressor** || <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Process** ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Grief oriented** || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Depression
 * 1) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Nostalgia
 * 2) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Overwhelm || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I didn't have a job the first few months we were here. I was sad all the time, I cried a lot. Finding a job helped and it helped me to stay busy so I didn't have to think about it."
 * 3) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I miss my country. We left as refugees, it was not our choice. It helps that I have S., we are each other's support.
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"All of these things were thrown on me... I had to learn the language, find a job, take care of my daughter, take care of the house... There was no help, no support." ||
 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">**Life oriented** || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Birth of my daughter."
 * 1) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Language"
 * 2) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Far away from home."
 * 3) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I'm a stranger in my own country." || # <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I never felt as alone as I did that day. No one but S. was by my side. All of my family was in Bosnia, the war was raging. Here I am, a new mom, a happy moment, and I am crying because my family can't share this moment with me. It's the same for every birthday."
 * 4) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Don't even get me started," A. giggled. "I didn't know the language at all. I attended the same language course as S. but never learned it as well. I still have an accent, you can tell I am not from here. What helped me the most are people at my job, they were wonderful and patient. I feel more comfortable now but I still struggle."
 * 5) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"Two years ago, I just returned from my visit from Bosnia. A couple of days later, I received a call that my dad had a heart attack. I went back just in time; he passed away the day after I arrived. The distance is what bothers me the most. But we use the computer, Skype, we talk on the phone. This helps."
 * 6) <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">"I feel like a guest when I go home. I am comfortable the first week, but after that, I miss my home here. I am not comfortable in my own country and people see me as a foreigner too. Things have changed so much." ||

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">She added: "You make these goals, things you want to achieve. You work, you're busy, you try. But, it seems to me as if all this hurry is to keep your mind off of sadness that never leaves you. And then I wonder if we should have stayed, if we could have achieved all of this without having to go through immigration. But then, I don't know."

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">What resonated throughout this conversation was the universal nature of human struggle and desire to do better. Burdened by the grief over the loss of their assumptive universe, these people tried their best to accommodate themselves to the nascent experience of being a foreigner. Their anticipatory grief resided in destitute circumstances of being a refugee; by their own admission, their experience in Germany didn't leave much space to hope that they would be accepted here in the United States. Dread and worry over what comes next overshadowed what was to be a happier time in a new country, what was to be the beginning - again. In all this, a role conflict comes to surface, a mundane responsibility of juggling multiple, clashing roles. They had to be all things to each other and their child; there was no one to be anything to them.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">I came out of this conversation with a heavy heart, relating to parts of their story and recognizing my own struggle. Struggle might be an overpowering word, but transformation certainly describes the overhaul of one's life when encountering a new culture. All people possess resiliency and immigrants are not different; what makes it important to them (us) is that it represents the foundation of what we become; over time, over long distances, it becomes a necessity. And I don't know an immigrant who would want it differently.


 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">For more information, visit: **


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 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">[|Immigration guide] **


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 * <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">References: **

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Banks, J.A. (Ed.) (1996). Multicultural Education, Transformative Knowledge, and <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Action. New York: Teachers College Press.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Berry, J.W. (1990). Psychology of acculturation. In N.R. Goldberger & J.B.Veroff (Eds.), <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> //The culture and psychology reader// (pp. 457-488). New York; New York University <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Press.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Martinez-Benet, Veronica, Hariatos, Jana. (2005). Bicultural Identity Integration (BII): <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Components and Psychosocial Antecedents. //Journal Of Personality//. <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Volume 73. Issue 4. 1015-1050.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Trickett, Edison J.; Birman, Dina. (2005.) Acculturation, school context, and school outcomes: <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Adaptation of refugee adolescents from the former Soviet Union. //Psychology in the// <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> //Schools//, Vol. 42 Issue 1, p27-38.

<span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;">Paukert, Amber L.; Pettit, Jeremy W.; Perez, Marisol; Walker, Rheeda L. (2006). Affective and <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Attributional Features of Acculturative Stress Among Ethnic Minority College <span style="font-family: Verdana,Geneva,sans-serif;"> Students. //Journal of Psychology//, Vol. 140 Issue 5, p405-419.